Mr.Perfect

There is this guy who haunts me like anything.He was the first guy in PR who I felt as the perfect guy for me. Generally when you talk/chat to a guy, you end up in concluding that everyone is a bundle of contradiction.On our first conversation/chat, I even shivered a bit; do not know whether that's normal but I loved that feeling very much. We were friends for almost 7-8 months, but he never met me. He never met me and he had his own stupid reasons which he supported all the time.He is such an adamant freak that i cant even protest against it and probably I failed to control it and he concluded that we were not being good frnds. Anyways, after being here for almost 1.5 years, I have realized that the guy I have been looking for, has to totally opposite to me.I am generally a born thinker,very sensitive, calm going, crazy sometimes, Stupid and responsible most of the times etc etc.He should be a fun loving person,Crazy like hell, a good conversationalist like me and all those things that could keep me engaged. Awww...I cant even imagine him you know..its irresistible..

As for as looks are concerned, I am not looking for Mr.Edward Cullen though if given a chance, i wont lose it easily.He has to be tall, have eyes that speaks volumes of feelings and a certain level of cuteness. Thats enough for me. I am not really looking for Mr.Glad rags winner here, though i fantasize about them a lot of times. I don't want to end up with someone who is good for only fantasizing and all. I really need someone who is there as a shoulder to lean over,to kiss at times when i feel dejected and get refreshing relief to get over the dejected feelings. I am already so stupid that I don't want him to be stupid like me.. Once in a while its fine but not completely freak he should be.Life has so much to give and take but right now i think i want only two things. One my family's happiness and another is a guy to live a life with.

When I took the decision that I would be giving a try to live in with someone for a whole lifetime, Dont you think its worth it to think or expect a guy who is compatible in senses I mentioned.I think it is, but would I be getting him is another thing though. I am being so down from last few months for the same reason. Its a matter of my life after all and people tell me to be happy, supporting the fact that no one can control future.I know future is unpredictable but it worries me about my future.I have never been in any relationship and I want to know how does it feels to be in one. One reason is I want to understand what responsibilities it carries so that I can totally take charge of it. Another reason is who doesn't want to be committed with someone sensible as you think you should get it.

Everyone's Mr.Perfect differs and mine as well does. I really wish that my love affair should be two way rather than one way. I want to fall in love with someone who is also interested in me. I don't want to fall in love with someone who loves me and whom i see no more than just a friend. If I do , then I might be falling for his feelings that he has for me, for the way he responses to me whenever I need him and all. In that case, I would be loving him for reasons all selfish to me. That's completely wrong. I want to love a person as a person. Even though he changes a little here and there, I think I still want to love him as a person and not for the way he used to be. I know that's a little complicated to make you understand but it is that way.